Dear Customer Who Pays My Wages & Without Whom I Would Have No Job,
I have just a few issues I would like to raise for your consideration:
1: When I am pushing around my red stock trolley loaded with boxes, please be aware that my load sometimes weighs over 160kg. I am a truck. You are a pedestrian. If we collide, I am going to come out better off than you. So please do not stop in front of me.
2: If I am unloading my trolley & I have a heavy box in my arms, please do not stop right next to me so I have nowhere to go. You know I am there because I just said "Hello" to you. And you answered me. I have to work quickly. I get in trouble if I take too long so I don't have time to wait for you.
3: Please do not shop in bare feet. Sometimes my boxes fall off my trolley. Especially when you stop in front of me. My trolley is so squeaky & noisy I can be heard from the other end of the store. So don't pretend you haven't heard me coming up behind you. I am sure you would sue us should a 16kg box of coca cola or dog food landed on your toes, so take a bit of responsibility for yourself & wear some damn shoes!
4: Please change out of you pyjamas to come shopping. They are to wear at home. All day if you want to. I don't care. But they are not to wear to shopping.
5: Please change out of your g-string leotard & leggings before coming shopping. You have a better figure than I do & I don't want to look at yours. This also applies to other sporty people
whom I am obviously jealous of - at least take your shin pads off if you have been at soccer or hockey - you don't need armour to do the groceries. Unless I am mowing you down with my red trolley. Oh, and swimmers are for swimming. Not shopping. Collisions can happen if young male nightfillers are rubber necking rather than watching where they are going.
6: Be aware of where your children are & what they are doing. Our refrigerated bays are not fences for them to climb up & walk along. If they fell down & hurt themselves we would have SO much paperwork to complete. If they break our equipment you get away with it.
7: Your children if they are under 10 should at least be in the same aisle as you. Then you will actually see that they know how to open packets and bowl balls along the floor.
8: Grocery shopping is a very social experience. If I want to catch up with my neighbours or friends, I just go to Woollies. because it's easier to catch them there then it is to catch them at home. By all means, stop and chat. Take as long as you like. But do me a favour & don't block the aisle. I understand some people view nightfillers as "lower than pond scum" but if I can't get through it means that customers can't get through either. And I need them to get through. So they can
pay my wages do their shopping.
9: It is my job to work around you & get out of your way. Not the other way around. Do not apologise for being in my way. If you are not there, I do not have a job. And I kind of need my job. And I kind of like it too. But I can't get out of your way if you
hog the aisle insist on walking side by side - your 10 kids included - there is simply no where for me to move to.
10: Yes I know we pile up boxes everywhere & make a big mess. But don't worry, we clean it up when you have all gone home. We like you remember your visit to our store - we like to make it unforgettable. The obstacle course of boxes is part of the free entertainment we provide for you.
11: OOPS, nearly forgot this one! Just like I am a truck & you are a pedestrian or bicycle or mini or whaterver it is you want to be, one simple road rule should always be observed. Keep Left Unless Overtaking. Unless where you live they drive on the opposite side of the road to us. If you & I keep left, we won't have to do the "dance" when meeting in the aisle. We will know where the other is going.
So when you next see me driving my red truck / ferrari/ stock trolley around the place, please smile and say hello, just like I do to you, and then GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!
Disclaimer: I am a nightfiller for Woollies & this is entirely my own composition & does not represent the opinion of Woolworths Ltd or any other staff member!
Yours in service,
A Lowly Nightfiller.
What annoys you about grocery shopping? Are we nightfillers a major pain in the bum?
