Today I would like to talk about something other than food. I would like to talk about manners and etiquette.
The following is part of the definition of etiquette from dictionary .com
etiquette
[et-i-kit, -ket]
conventional requirements as to social behaviour; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
I was raised to be someone who is polite and considerate of others and know how to behave in social situations. To have etiquette.
Take today for example. We went to watch Disney on Ice, a live show on tour at the moment. You are probably all familiar with it, possibly having seen this tour or a previous tour. “We” in this case means myself, Mr 22, Mr 15, Miss 10 and Miss 10’s friend who we will call Miss 11 because she recently celebrated her birthday. So off we trotted, found our seats in the second last row (great view from any seat in a smaller venue than a big city’s entertainment centre) and I made sure to sit the two girls in front of the children in the back row so none of the adults were blocking the view of the young chaps behind us. The Mum was very thankful when I told her that I wouldn’t sit an adult in front of her kids. When I go to shows or even movies I make sure my hair is either in a low ponytail or not tied up so that I don’t have a high pony tail or my hair piled on top of my head blocking the view of someone sitting behind me. I ask the person behind me if they can see. Isn’t that simply called having manners or being considerate?
So anyway, things started really well. As I mentioned, it really doesn’t make much difference where you sit in a venue of this size with the stage set up of this how – the venue is small enough that you can see the whole stage anyway. Usually.
This is the view I started the show with:
We were halfway along the stage and could see the entire performing area.
Until halfway through the first half and this happened:
A tall dude sat right in front of me.
The seat that had previously been occupied by a small child. I don’t know if this guy was just late or if he had moved from a different seat, but he sat there to help his wife with the kids. Yay – good husband award. He had a youngster on his lap – they are her piggytails that look like lumps either side of his neck in the photo. And a child sitting on the seat on his right.
I understand that he is tall. I understand that he had to sit somewhere. He paid the same amount for his ticket as I did for mine – he is entitled to see the show. But so am I. If you are tall and going to sit in front of me, at least try to sit still so I can look around you. That is etiquette. That is being considerate of those around you. That is called behaving in a socially acceptable manner.
Leaning in to talk to your wife every single time a character on stage moved does not make it easy for me to see around you. Leaning around to talk to the child on your lap on one side and then on the other does not make it possible for me to see around you. Having children who are getting out of their seats to walk past you to your wife to get more food and you shuffling around does not make it easy for me to see past any of you. Honestly, I have never seen a grown up move around so much during a show. Or a movie. I get that you have kids but if they are not old enough to sit through a movie they are not going to sit through a live show. They don’t have the ability yet.
I was this close to tapping him on the shoulder and saying “I realise you are tall and I don’t mean to sound rude but could you possibly try to keep fairly still during the performance so I can see around you?”.
So for three quarters of the show I got to see the stage in two halves – the left of his head and the right of his head. Not the middle where most of the action was. Fortunately behind me was a pole so I didn’t have anyone trying to see around me. I checked that before moving my head around too much. Because I try to keep still so as not to negatively impact others’ experiences.
Because I am considerate.
Because I was raised to be polite.
Because I have etiquette.
We have been to performances of several plays and concerts locally that are in school halls and have rows of seats along the floor as opposed to elevated seating. Two years in a row at a particular concert I have watched my children perform through the teased fringe of a lady sitting in front of me, with no way of avoiding it. For Pete’s sake people, don’t wear high hair if the seats aren’t elevated!!!!! Don’t wear anything that is going to make it hard for the people behind you to see. We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve had to watch something through the space between heads. The people behind you have to do the same so if you move around a lot, they have to and then those behind them have to and those behind them and so on. If you make an effort to keep still, there’s a whole lot of people behind you that you will avoid pissing off.
Think about how you would feel if you were the person who couldn’t see. Do what you can to make it easier for them.
That is called being considerate.
And polite.
And having etiquette.
And not pissing me off.
Rant over.
Thank you.
Oh, and I did eat today. Leftover fathead pizza for breakfast, satay chicken sticks for lunch:
and dinner was at the local club – they have meals that are adaptable for the different eating preferences in my family. Chinese food, which meant I could avoid rice and order food that wasn’t battered. Mr 22 had a couple of vegan options to choose from to keep him happy.
And that was our day.
How was yours?
Karen.